I’ve got this mole, you know…

… it’s making a hell of a mess of my garden!* So starts Jasper Carrott’s “The Mole” routine – to my mind one of the best starts to any comedy routine ever.

Well, I actually do have a mole, but not the kind that digs in your garden: it’s the skin kind. It’s on my right temple, and a few people have commented over the past couple of months that it seems to have grown. So, I trotted off to the GP a few weeks ago, and they referred me to the dermatologist at hospital.

I saw the dermatologist about three weeks ago, and he said it needed to be removed, and I could go in for a minor operation for it. I went in for the minor operation today – through the pouring rain, I’ll have you know – only to find it couldn’t be done: because of my age and the size of the mole, the doctor was a bit worried about scarring. She said I needed to see someone who was better qualified to perform the op, so I don’t spend the rest of my life with the nickname “scarface”. (She didn’t actually say that, but that was what I inferred.)

So, I will be heading back to the hospital for a third time sometime soon for them to cut my face open and remove the mole. Let’s hope they don’t use a twelve bore.

* Another contender for the title was “Out, damn’d spot! out, I say!”, but I decided against it.

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