I mentioned lolcode last month.
This month, I’ve found something which is possibly even worse. Prepare yourselves for… The Lolcat Bible!
Here are a few samples:
Nao faithz an hoepz an luvz r hear, theses threes, but teh bestest iz teh luv. srsly. [1 Corinthians 13:13]
n im telln u, cuz Ceiling Cat pwns, u shld giv him ur boddeez, cuz he liek dem, n dis way ur liek “Ceiling Cat pwns”, dats wut we do. dont b liek “l00k @ me im liek teh urthz im a n00b”, but b liek teh Transformers by recycling ur mind. den u cn do wut Ceiling Cat wants, cuz Ceiling Cat’s will is teh r0x0rz. [Romans 12:1-2]
So liek teh Ceiling Cat lieks teh ppl lots and he sez ‘Oh hai I givez u me only kitteh and ifs u beleevs in him u wont evr diez no moar, k? [John 3:16]
Words fail me.
They also have a “lolhymns” section:
Amayzin grase, how niec yu soundz
Yu saevded a bad kitteh liek me!
I wunse gets lost but nao ai fowndz!
oh hai, nao can ai see!
Please, somebody, stop this lolstuff madness!
“So liek teh Ceiling Cat lieks teh ppl lots and he sez ‘Oh hai I givez u me only kitteh and ifs u beleevs in him u wont evr diez no moar, k? [John 3:16]”
Oh come on, this is hysterical, ‘u wont evr diez no moar, k?’ is surely inspired. Love the ‘k?’. Just a quick question, I’m presuming “Oh hai” is something like hey or hi.
“Just a quick question, I’m presuming “Oh hai†is something like hey or hi.” That’s right. But it’s not just that… it’s pure evil!