An Interview with the Karma Chameleon

I wrote this quite some time ago, and I think I meant to put it on my blog but never got around to it, so if you’ve heard it before I do apologise! The idea came to me in the shower one day (as these things do)… incidentally, ‘Karma Chameleon’ is from the song by Culture Club, which is where all the KC’s quotes come from!

A Job Interview with the Karma Chameleon

Interviewer: “Ah, good morning. What is your name?”

Karma Chameleon: “Karma Karma Karma Karma Karma Chameleon.”

I: “Goodness, what a long name! — I’ll just call you Mr. Chameleon. So, Mr. Chameleon, you’re here to apply for a travelling salesman.”

KC: “Desert loving in your eyes all the way!”

I: “Uh, yes, we do operate around some desert areas. Not sure about the loving though… anyway. We need our drivers to know what they are doing, so could you briefly explain to me your idea of being a travelling salesman?”

KC: “You come and go, you come and go”

I: “Yes, that’s not too bad — you do come and go I suppose. Of course, we need to make sure that our drivers aren’t colour blind — what colour are traffic lights?”

KC: “Red, gold and green”

I: “Close — it’s actually red, amber and green. But close enough. Mr. Chameleon, we need our sales reps to be people of integrity. Are you a man of integrity?”

KC: “I’m a man who doesn’t know how to sell a contradiction.”

I: “Ah good. I’m glad about that. Uh, how long would you be prepared to work for us?”

KC: “When you go you’re gone forever”

I: “Wow, you’re very dedicated! Just one more thing, Mr. Chameleon. Do you have any criminal record?

KC: “I’m a man without convictions…”

I: “That’s fantastic! Well, I’m happy to say that you’ve got the job! (to another man who also applied for the job) Mr. Lizard! Yes, I’m sorry, you haven’t got the job.”

KC: (turning round to look at Mr. Lizard) “You’ve my lover, not my rival…”

Mr. Lizard: (runs…)

So there you go… I hope you enjoyed that! All for now, folks…


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